Boner Stabone

jorshuwah asked: Recently I went to trivia. And it made me feel stoopid. I cheated and used my iphone to look up every question and we ended up winning but still, I felt stupid. Help?

You know who is stupid? All those turds who didn’t use their iPhones to find the answer. It’s like taking a math test and not being able to use a calculator. Or the calculator on your iPhone.

Winning at trivia doesn’t make one smart. It just means they’ve amassed a shload of useless information that has no practical application except making them seem smart. And sometimes they get to have sex with the hot chicks who are impressed with their pseudo-knowledge.

In the end, cheating at trivia can get you laid by dumb chicks.

rolandfox-deactivated20120116 asked: So...Carol. Ya boner?

Did I bone Carol? As in Carol Seaver? More like she boned me. With her bones. Because she was anorexic. And boney.

Naw, I spent most of my time in the room above the Seaver’s garage with little Benny.

Trading baseball cards, you fucking pervert.

Okay, I let him touch it. Once.

Nothing, huh?

I woke up excited to see my first round of questions in my askhole.

There were none.

Well you guys are jerks. Questionless jerks.

Keeping Boner Alive

It may seem to be in poor taste, posting from an account that bears the face of Andrew Koenig’s Growing Pains character… especially since the @Boner_Stabone account is pretty effing crude, fellas.

For now, I’ve decided to keep the account and, yes, keep it raunchy, inappropriate and cringe-worthy. But I want to make clear that I am not trying to disrespect the man who played the character. In fact, Koenig’s twitter account, @JeSuisLeSinge followed Boner for about a month or two and even said it was “hilarious”. You know what? He was pretty funny, too.

The guy had some personal and mental issues, obviously. I’m not, nor have I ever, tried to portray myself as Andrew Koenig the man. I just “borrowed” his character’s likeness from a screen grab of Growing Pains. I mean, c’mon! The character’s name was BONER fucking STABONE, people. They got away with saying BONER on TV in a prime family time slot in the Regan 80’s. BONER. It means an erect penis, folks.

So, there you have it. @Boner_Stabone the twitterer is alive and well, although I should probably lay low for a little bit out of respect for the man who played the character. No death jokes. No suicide jokes. No depression jokes. But lots of balls-and-poop jokes because my name is BONER.

What should I do, here?

So the real Boner is missing. Am I a dick for keeping the @boner_stabone account for testicle and poop jokes? Should I change the name & avatar pic? Serious question. Serious biznizz.

Dude is missing, ya’ll.

Maybe I should become Skippy from Family Ties. Now there’s a guy who can tell a funny pubic hair joke.

Find Boner

Really, guys. I can’t think of another 80’s sitcom character I want to be, so all you Pacific Northwesterners keep an eye out and find Boner.

http://www.eonline.com/uberblog/b168208_five_things_you_need_know_about_missing.html

#findboner